三十而得水痘

我拿着药剂师从儿童专用货架上给我取的CoolMousse跟Piriton,深感哭笑不得——一个快三十的人得了水痘。

Cool Mousse for Children with Chickenpox

药店里人不少,虽然一看我满脸红点点就知道我随身携带杀伤力很强的几乎要毁容的病毒,但他们全都坦然无惧,毫不在意。那当然,在场所有的人估计话还没说利索或者第二性征还没出现的时候就得过水痘了,得了就终身不会再得,还怕啥。

罢了罢了,关于没得水痘这件事,我庆幸了29年半,没想到最终还是栽了。一开始只是发低烧,我以为是晨跑的缘故。毕竟我刚重读了村上春树的《当我在跑步时我在顾左右而言他》,又抵不住无敌河景的诱惑,就又脑热开跑了。伦敦清晨还是蛮冷的,有时不到10度,风还挺大,所以我可能跑着跑着就被什么不知名病毒感染了。

Jogging

吃了退烧药,也没啥其他症状,那我以为就没事儿了。该吃吃该喝喝,反正也只是低烧稍微身子有点酸痛而已嘛,并无大碍。低烧持续两天后,我身上突然出现了几颗小红点儿,让我有点儿摸不着头脑。此时老张借题大肆发挥,说都是因为我脏乱差,跑完步回家外套裤子也不放好,全扔床上,拖鞋也是屋里屋外楼上楼下到处穿,所以才把小虫子引进了屋。我不依不饶,我说我在新加坡的时候更加脏乱差,也没长这种小红点啊。

老张说也有可能是因为最近海鲜吃太多了。在坡县天天吃食堂,我要吃个生蚝什么的还要专门进一趟城,所以面对附近生鲜市场应有尽有的海货,我就开启买买买模式了。虽然生蚝最肥美的时刻在冬季,但好歹4月(它们肉质最差的交配季)已过,产自苏格兰Clachan Cairndow海湖交界处、共饮咸淡水的牡蛎便足以征服我的味蕾。除了生蚝,多宝鱼、比目鱼、老虎虾、青口,我都想吃就吃。可是……我长这么大,吃了无数海鲜,遇到不新鲜的或许会拉肚子,但印象中从未因此过敏。

oyster

算了,不过是几个小红点嘛,就不去管它了。没想到,第三天早上起床一照镜子,我就发现自己毁容了。除了脸,从肚子到脖子都是一片的小红点,看来只能看医生去。好在社区医院不难预约,9点20打电话跟大夫约在9点50看诊。医生超热情,我本以为会听不懂医学术语啥的,没想到挺顺利的,很快就确诊啦。

Dr: Do you feel itchy?

Me: Yep, a little

Dr: Do you scratch the rash?

Me: I had the impulse to when I looked at myself in the mirror, but mostly I could control myself

Dr: Ha, let me look at the rash at your tummy… Hmm… have you got chickenpox before?

Me: Eh… I have not, and I’ve always assumed that I had dodged it somehow

Dr: Yeah, chickenpox is very rare among adults, but it looks like you’ve got it now

Me: Hah? But I’ve got measles before, didn’t it help boost my immune system against chickenpox?

Dr: Hmm… not likely. But unless you’re infected with an unknown disease, I’m gonna treat it as if you got chickenpox

Me: Fine… Would it leave scars on my face?!

Dr: No worries, the blisters come and go around 10 days, meanwhile you can eat as normal, just remember to take extra amount of fluid

Me: Hmm, it looks like the whole point of chickenpox is just to exercise my immune system a bit?

Dr: Haha, exactly, but it’s an infectious virus, so you may need to work from home for a while

Me: No problem with that, I’ll confine myself at home since I’m writing my thesis anyway

Dr: Sounds great, take care!

确诊完,买了药,回了家。我刚准备抡起袖管跟老张平摊家务,结果又赶上这么完美的借口可以暂时再当几天甩手掌柜,我忍不住偷笑起来。不过还好只是毁容一时,不然我就算能一辈子不做家务也不敢长水痘啊!

Written on June 22, 2019